Baseball Should Tweet About Dip Not Hockey

Okay so I see that kids who play hockey are always tweeting about dipping and shit and throwing in huge lippers and what not. That's cool and all but that's just not you. Step back and be real with yourself. Hockey should be all Molson and Blue Light and then maple syrup and pancakes after a game. Not bombs in you lip. Only baseball players should be tweeting about putting huge lippers in and here are some reasons:

#1 - Baseball has been dipping way longer than hockey players and I base this information on absolutely nothing

#2 - I always see MLB and baseball players with huge dips in while they are playing and never see hockey players do that

#3 - There's a gum called Big League Chew (like its dip but its really gum for kids) with baseball players on the cover

#4 - Most farm boys dip --> Most farm boys grow up in areas where they play a lot of baseball (Nebraska/Kansas/Georgia/Texas) --> Those farm boys play baseball and subsequently dip --> This is called the goddamn transitive property A=B=C or something like that ya know math proofs

#5 - Every baseball movie I've ever seen has at least one dude with a dip in and I can't say that for hockey movies

#6 - Bomb squad means packing bombs and then hitting bombs, and chicks dig the long ball

#7 - Chicks dig baseball pants because they can see your ass in it

#8 - USA started out growing a lot of tobacco --> Dip is made from tobacco --> USA's national sport is baseball --> Baseball players dip --> Ya this is more transitive property shit ya know like geometry class or something

Ya tell me this isn't true. Right here are 8 solid reasons why this is completely accurate.

PS -

Thanks for this irrelevant comment. The whole point of this blog post is because twitter feeds blow up with hockey players dipping. Doesn't matter if its bad because they are missing teeth, doesn't matter if it requires cardio.