Is Lamar Odom in the movie Big Daddy?

-ESPN Lamar Odom, breaking weeks of silence on his current state of mind, tweeted on Tuesday about what he describes as a very "dark time" and how his "absent" father is to blame for his "downfall."

The 33-year-old NBA veteran, posting an extended message via his Twitter account, broke his silence in a rare emotional outburst. He spoke out against what he called his father passing on his "demons" and damaging comments his father had tossed off about his wife and in-laws.

This is straight out of the movie Big Daddy. Lamar Odom isn't mad at us, he's just mad at his dad. It's his dad's fault that he has addiction problems and married the ugliest Kardashian. Who else can you blame? The actual guy making the decisions? No way. Dad passed on those "demons". Blowing coke, getting DUIs, and marrying ugly broads is passed on through your DNA. No other explanation. 

Me- "Hey Lamar, who won the Jets game?"

Lamar- "Who cares?"

Me- "Let it go Lamar he can't control you anymore." 

Lamar left basketball and had personal problems because he was mad at his dad so I forgive him. 

Another Point for Team Dog

Yahoo - We sometimes take for granted just how intuitive and helpful dogs can be. They serve as guides for the blind, search-and-rescue officers, and bomb detectors, but they are also fiercely loyal to their owners — no matter how young or old. That is evidenced in a recent YouTube video from Turkey, in which a cocker spaniel shows that it is more than just a playful pup.

On the Kabak Koyu beach in southwestern Turkey, a woman is throwing a ball for the dog while her child crawls around in the sand. Small children are, of course, artful escapees, and suddenly the child is going full-bore straight at the ocean. The spaniel, dropping playtime immediately, races down to the surf and plops down in the sand between the child and the waves, drawing the family's attention just as the adventurous youngster is about to hit the water. One commenter wrote, "Face it. Dogs are better than humans." After seeing this video, it's hard to disagree.

Here we go. Mans best friend at it again and another point for dogs. Baby is about to get caught in the water and drown so the dog reacts against his instincts and instead of going for a ball, goes to save the baby. What would a cat do in this situation? Probably says fuck it and keeps licking itself. Wouldn't even think about going near that water. Doesn't give a shit about anyone except itself. Team dog. 

Adam Schefter is a Nerd

This does it. Confirms Schefter as a nerd and Melvin and whatever you want to call him. Complete non-athlete turned sports journalist know-it-all. Chris Carter and Keyshawn snag footballs from the juggs machine like men, like it's nothing. Schefter gets all scared and backs away and wears safety glasses like he's never played a sport with a ball in his life. Really bro? The force of the ball from the juggs machine knocked you over backwards? Squidsville central right there.

Schefter is the dude that you purposely hit the softball to in high school gym class softball. He's the guy you pick on in dodgeball. He's the dude you never pass the ball to in pick up basketball. He's the guy that always said he was open every play in flag football but you never passed the ball to and then when you finally caved and  threw him the ball he flat out drops it with nobody around. Like bro there's a reason the other team leaves you completely wide open.

Then these guys because expert sports analysts on major sports networks. Mind-boggling.

John McCain Not a Dodgers Pool Party Fan

Classic crusty old white man thinking he needs to throw his 2-cents into the sporting world because he used to be in the news. Don't you have elections to go lose bro? Don't like celebratory pool parties? You'll never get my vote now. 

Where does Stevie Johnson get his fashion sense?

Does he just wake up and throw clothes on in the dark? Like I don't know if the shit he throws on is planned or he just doesn't care. Genius outfit. Shirt of himself. 

Why is Mike Holmgren Ripping the Browns?

-ESPN Former Cleveland Browns president Mike Holmgren blasted the team Thursday, questioning why it would trade second-year running back Trent Richardson to the Indianapolis Colts and saying he would quit if the same move happened while he was a head coach.

"How do you make your team better by trading your best player?'' Holmgren told Sports Radio 950 KJR in Seattle, according to The Plain Dealer of Cleveland. "He's the best offensive player. He's a valuable, valuable guy.''

Holmgren was the reason Richardson initially landed in Cleveland, as he traded up a spot in the 2012 NFL draft to take the former Alabama star with the No. 3 overall pick. Holmgren eventually was let go at the end of last season by new Browns owner Jimmy Haslam and CEO Joe Banner

Uhhh why did they trade your boy T.Rich? Maybe because he actually wasn't that good. Look you can get into the fact that Richardson is a beast and everything and huge but the fact is he averages like 3.4 yards per carry. Last time I checked that's not very good. And you can say that his team is awful but even good running on bad teams do better than 3.4 yards per carry. Your pick sucked plain and simple. You also drafted Weedon with a first round pick too so essentially you blew two first round picks in the same year. That's why the team go rid of you bro. That's why they traded your boy. How do you make your team better by trading your best players you ask? You make it better by getting rid of your crappy picks for more picks, so another guy can draft better players, that's how. 

Could care less who Bills draft

Like I really don't give a shit. They want to draft a QB. Go for it. They want to take a tackle. More power to them. They want to take a punter? Wooooooo. Doesn't matter. Honestly if they take a QB like Smith, Barkley, or Nassib with the 8th pick I don't give 2 shits. What's the worst that could happen? They suck and the Bills finish with a top 10 pick again next year and we can take another crack at it all over again like the last decade. Doesn't fucking matter. Like really I'd rather take somebody else with the 8th pick then snatch up a Barkley or Nassib in the second or third round but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm still going to go to games and watch them because it's an excuse for me to drink excessive amounts of alcohol in a parking lot and get shitfaced with strangers and shout Go Bills and kick midgets and shit.

If the Bills take someone and you bitch and moan about it that's the wrong attitude. Just accept it and move on. Nobody fucking knows how good the players will be when they come into the NFL. I'm not a fucking scout or draft expert and neither is anyone else unless you work for an NFL team. Just drink beer and watch games with friends and eat chicken wing dip and shit and have a good time. No need to be the next Mel Kiper or Todd McShay.

PS - I want Nassib or Barkley. So sue me I think they have a chance to be decent but go ahead and crucify me for thinking that because every talking head on ESPN says it's a down QB class. Russell Wilson and shit just remember that.

How Desperate is Mike Brown?

 ESPN - CLEVELAND -- The Cleveland Cavaliers have officially rehired Mike Brown as their coach.

Brown, who led the Cavs to five consecutive playoff appearances before he was fired in 2010, is returning to the team for a second time. Brown will replace Byron Scott, the man who replaced him three years ago but was fired last week following Cleveland's third straight losing season.

How desperate are you for work when your employer who basically spat in your face three years ago wants you to come back and you take the job? Dan Gilbert basically fired Brown to try and appease LeBron and get him to stay in Cleveland. Like I know that LeBron is basically the greatest basketball player on Earth right now but as a coach, if my owner is putting a player above me, THE COACH, the guy who is supposed to run the shit, I'm fucking pissed and not coming back. I'm not letting somebody tell me a player is above me and then coming back after that. No way. There is some young talent though in Cleveland and you never know LeBron could be back in a few years to play with Irving and D Waiters. How the fuck would that dynamic work? Like would LeBron be like "Sorry bro I got you fired but it's cool now cuz I can play with Kyrie and he balls hard." Only time will tell. 

Where is my logic wrong here???

Alright so really where is my logic wrong here? USA won the gold in basketball at the Olympics. Sure I understand the point that "Team USA" won the gold and defeated "Team Spain" but really you gotta look a little deeper than just "nope it means USA is world champs." That's an illogical way to look at it bro. It's the Olympics, not an every year league.

Look at it like this guy. The best American players beat the best Spanish players. This would lead the average layman to believe that the NBA is better than the Spanish Basketball League team. Wait, is my logic wrong here? Okay just checking. So that would then again lead the average layman to believe that the best NBA team who wins the championship to be better than the best Spanish Basketball League team who wins their respective championship. Are you still with me here? Am I wrong yet? Logic and shit, that's all I'm doing here is talking logic.

So if the best NBA team from this logic is better than the best Spanish Basketball League team than how would the NBA championship team not be the World Champs? It's like A=B=C, transitive property and shit, straight geometry lesson dog. Like sure you're right I cannot fucking assume they'd win and be world champs but how close to do you want the logic to get without them actually playing a fucking game?

NFL part is laughable because no other country can play American Football on our level. Wouldn't even be fucking close if we played France or some other country in American Football.

PS - I don't count MLB with World Baseball Classic because we don't care about that shit for some reason. We don't even put our best players in the WBC. No Verlander? No Trout? No Strasburg? No Weaver? No Ian Kinsler? I could go on but bottom line is I don't count that shit.

PPS - Classic comment capture. Heat won the championship last year. LeBron, Bosh, Wade, Chalmers, Howard, Battier, Miller, Haslem, Cole, Anthony. Which one of those championship players is foreign? Zero. Plus American basketball players play in foreign countries. You know which ones do that? The bad ones who can't play in the NBA.

PPPS - Classic more comments. Yeah their best come play here because there is no competition in foreign leagues and they can make bank here bro. Name a foreign player better than Melo, LeBron, Wade, CP3, Griffen, Durant, Duncan, Harden, Westbrook, Irving, D Williams, Wall, Jefferson, Howard, Pierce, Garnett..really maybe Dirk or Tony Parker. Kobe doesn't count I don't care that he was born in France because his dad played there because of exactly my point before, he wasn't good enough for the NBA so he played in a foreign country plus Kobe is an American citizen. Seriously lets just fucking make the Heat play the SBL's champion I know where I'm putting my money. Fucking Merica. 

Game 2 Tonight Knicks Celtics

Knicks Celtics about to tip off. I'm scared because Doc has a team of veterans and is going to make adjustments and I don't know if Woodson can respond. Plus Chandler's bulging disc could pop out of his spine at any time and then all that's left is K-Mart.

Then again the Knicks might have the best scorer right now on their team in Melo and I don't think JR misses like he did in the last game. Knicks haven't won a playoff series since the Kennedy administration and I don't feel good about them winning this one unless they take this game tonight at home. Gotta win at home it's crucial.

Little scared about doughy Paul Pierce too. That doughball always cooks up a clutch game now and again. Hopefully KG doesn't eat up a hurting Chandler tonight. Could be a Celtics win if the Knicks trenches can't hold up under the iron.

Kolb Says He's Here to Win Super Bowl

Wtf is this guy thinking? The Bills are nowhere near contending for a Super Bowl. They can't even make the playoffs. They can't even accomplish a winning record. Does this dude think he's the missing piece or something? Slow your roll dude you sound crazy. It's not like this guy is really good either. Average at best. The only way the Bills are getting to the Super Bowl this year is if all 31 other NFL teams are launched into space and are sucked through a black hole, in which case Alabama would be called into the NFL and beat the Bills.

Crazy talk.

PS - Go Bills.

Rutgers Coverage

Why is this 24/7 news? Okay I understand that some shit went down the coach and AD are gone, but really how important is this program? Just take a step back and ask what is so huge about Rutgers. Nothing. They are a shitty Big East basketball program. They are an average Big East football program. I can't think of any other relevant things. Well actually the only big thing was a Thursday night college football win over Louisville  like 5 years ago. Get over it. The biggest play Rutgers has ever received might be when Don Imus called the women basketball players "nappy headed hoes" and was fired for it. This isn't Michigan, Notre Dame, USC, Florida, Alabama, Texas, or so on who cares.

Seriously, they've done nothing. Nothing Derek Nothing! Didn't even invent the piano key necktie. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills watching SportsCenter!

Mississippi State Taking Recruiting to a Whole New Level

This is it. I'm sold. You send me this kinda shit, hand drawn quality shit like this and I'm yours. If I'm a 4-5 star athlete looking to go to college what else could I ask for? Yes coach, I would love to drink SWAG all day and bring SEC titles to Starkville...or is it now Stark-Vegas - right there, more swag. Just renaming your town and adding vegas to it like your fucking Drake rapping songs. And this follows up letters like this...

Tell me a baller and and tell me you have a 4 year supply of SWAG for me. Ring those cowbells in Starkvil....I mean StarkVegas I'm coming to be a Dawg. Mississippi State has this recruiting shit figured out now. Kids these days don't want money under the table, they want to be ballers and have swag. That is literally all teenagers care about these days. Brilliant moves, kudos to Dan Mullen and staff.

PS - That SWAG letter was sent to Marlon Humphrey a 5-star cornerback recruit from Alabama. No way he goes to Bama now he's going to Mississippi State. Sure natty ships at Bama but do I want to play for some crusty old self-centered coach, or a coaching staff that is providing me with unlimited swag and that's going to make me a baller? Not even a real question.

Atheists and Easter/Christmas

Okay so yeah I started to ponder this because it seemed like a fascinating subject to delve into. How come people will say they're an atheist or don't believe in God or whatever but still celebrate Easter and Christmas? I've thought about this and it absolutely makes no sense whatsoever.

Like Easter and Christmas are originally holidays that celebrate the birth and death of Jesus. If you never heard of him he founded the religion of Christianity. So if you're outspoken as someone who does not believe in any God or anything than why do you celebrate those holidays? Like I'm not saying you're a bad person or you're wrong for not believing in something I could care less but it just still doesn't make any sense.

First of all, kids get a boatload of candy at Easter. You know who really deserves that candy? The kids who had to sit through an hour or longer Easter morning mass. The non-believers, what are they doing just playing video games all morning and then they get free candy? Load of bullshit you gotta earn that candy.

Christmas? Last time I checked Santa Claus is old SAINT Nick. Saint. He isn't Jolly Ol' Scientist Nick spreading science to all the children. He's Jolly Ol' Saint Nick who gives presents to the good little boys and girls. He's flying a sleigh powered by magical reindeer and not a flying a stealth bomber constructed of science.

Stop trying to steal my holidays and get your own.

Baseball Should Tweet About Dip Not Hockey

Okay so I see that kids who play hockey are always tweeting about dipping and shit and throwing in huge lippers and what not. That's cool and all but that's just not you. Step back and be real with yourself. Hockey should be all Molson and Blue Light and then maple syrup and pancakes after a game. Not bombs in you lip. Only baseball players should be tweeting about putting huge lippers in and here are some reasons:

#1 - Baseball has been dipping way longer than hockey players and I base this information on absolutely nothing

#2 - I always see MLB and baseball players with huge dips in while they are playing and never see hockey players do that

#3 - There's a gum called Big League Chew (like its dip but its really gum for kids) with baseball players on the cover

#4 - Most farm boys dip --> Most farm boys grow up in areas where they play a lot of baseball (Nebraska/Kansas/Georgia/Texas) --> Those farm boys play baseball and subsequently dip --> This is called the goddamn transitive property A=B=C or something like that ya know math proofs

#5 - Every baseball movie I've ever seen has at least one dude with a dip in and I can't say that for hockey movies

#6 - Bomb squad means packing bombs and then hitting bombs, and chicks dig the long ball

#7 - Chicks dig baseball pants because they can see your ass in it

#8 - USA started out growing a lot of tobacco --> Dip is made from tobacco --> USA's national sport is baseball --> Baseball players dip --> Ya this is more transitive property shit ya know like geometry class or something

Ya tell me this isn't true. Right here are 8 solid reasons why this is completely accurate.

PS -

Thanks for this irrelevant comment. The whole point of this blog post is because twitter feeds blow up with hockey players dipping. Doesn't matter if its bad because they are missing teeth, doesn't matter if it requires cardio. 

Really Long Run On Sentence

So this once time spaghetti rained from the sky when King Ninja Platypus came from his space empire of Guatemala when he was really obsessed with gaining weight because he wanted to get really fat so he could claim disability for being over 300 pounds which is really fat because my aunt Ja'kwonda is that fat and she can't really move and this one time she told me a story about how when you hit things with sticks really hard then all you're doing is hitting something with a stick really hard unless it breaks because breakable things break sometimes when you hit them really hard like my buddy Winston he has glasses and I threw a baseball at his face and broke his glasses and his mother Patricia the goddess of Canadian love bought new glasses for him but also picked a whole pan pizza which was topped with only sausage because that's all we like to eat in the summer time when Neptune is extremely close to Earth and it's not planet Earth it's just Earth when people say planet Earth that's really a misnomer that a lot of people say anyways because they're ignorant and prefer peppers to onions when they lay on a hammock by the mountainside which is loaded with Billy Goats who prefer to graze on the grasses of the mountains because they are high in fiber which is great for anyone's diet when they want to stay regular.

Bills Courting Fred Davis

I love it. This is so classic Bills. Lurk around the depths of free-agency and do nothing just waiting like a stingray on the ocean floor and do nothing and then all of a sudden, boom, make your move. Except usually the moves suck and everything the front office does is a misstep.

But really how do you back up such a national news generating move like signing Manny Lawson? Duh, go after arguably the second best FA tight end right after Tony Gonzalez who was going to retire. Just when the NFL thinks the Bills are dead in the water they quickly awake and strike.

In all seriousness though, signing Davis would be a pretty decent move if the Bills could accomplish it. Marrone runs a west coast system and a QB-friendly pass-catching TE would be a huge plus. I'll say this now Davis would be an upgrade over Chandler. Don't get me wrong I like the Chandy-man but Davis is the better player. If Davis is recovered from his injury he is much more explosive and can create more separation  in his routes than Chandler can. May be an under-the-radar signing if it happens but could be big.

P.S. - Wouldn't be surprised if the Bills don't sign him.

March Madness

So I start off every March Madness hoping my bracket is perfect and I win all the money in my pool. But that just doesn't happen. It never happens for anyone and you can know as much about college basketball as you want but it doesn't matter. Some kid whose nine year older sister filled out his bracket based on uniform colors is going to win. Just works that way for the most part.

Because of this I always root for the all the seeds above 10. I want utter madness. I want everyone's bracket to look like a shit. Why not. Odds are if they are big upsets and a lot happen then nobody saw that coming and everyone's bracket is screwed and you're still sitting pretty anyways. I love seeing people on twitter go off about a 1,2 or 3 seed losing to a lower seed. Gets me hard because I love the madness. That's what's great about this time of year anyways, that it's anyone's game. 

Like Ole Miss. I hope that team gets to the Final Four. Imagine Marshall Henderson in Atlanta. Dude's going to be blowing coke on the sideline then pop into the game for a quick 3 to steal the show. Then go rage in the downtown ATL and sip on rum n' cokes all night at the club. That's just what Marshall Henderson's do. They ball and then sip because they don't care. Just like me, I don't care if they bust my bracket. Just let Marshall Henderson's ball and sip. Look at him at the top of this blog, just doesn't care. Double fists Coors Lights and flashes gang signs with a bunch of weenies. 

Also want Creighton just because of McDermott. Love that kid. Actually haven't watched him that much but he seems like he hustles a lot and works hard. Prototypical butt-slapping work hard kid. Love it. 

P.S. - I root for every upset unless it's against Syracuse or Florida. If FGCU wins then screw them gator bait.

P.P.S - Don't care if Ole Miss loses tonight I bet La Salle has a dude that sips and clubs just as hard.

Why Bad Teams Should Keep Losing

So let me preface this by saying I hate losing. Losing sucks. Watching your favorite team go down can be just as crappy as taking a dump in a public bathroom only to realize that there is no toilet paper left when you need to wipe. But sometimes losing can be necessary.

Right now I just want the Sabres to lose. Take your lumps this year and get a #1-3 pick that will make an impact and be a great player. Why not. There has been nothing this year to show contention and with the season almost half way over things look bleak. There is a side note here. A magical 8-10 game win streak I'll take and then I'll change my mind but unless I see that I don't care.

Now I know you're going to give me the "how can you root for your team to lose, you should always want them to win." Yes, you're right. I should. When it's feasible and playoff runs are possible. If you're one of those people who always wants their team to try their hardest and will still pay a lot of money for tickets when the team sucks you're just encouraging mediocrity. You're basically a father who's son gets a medal for  7th place and you take him out for ice cream and tell him how special he is for trying. Don't get me wrong I'll watch the team on TV for free but I'm not about to pay $55-$75 for a ticket to see a team who more than likely will disappoint me.

If my team can't win I want the best pick possible. I want the team to improve more quickly, and a better quality player from the draft will help this occur faster. If you still pay for games when you know the team is bad then all you're doing is perpetuating the system. Sports are business. If the product sucks people don't go and the business doesn't make money.  This prompts the owners to make changes and put people in charge who will make decisions that create wins. If you still have dumb, blind faith in the team when they are bad and continue to pump money into the team you give ownership no reason to make changes that might improve the team. Basically you help the team continue to be mediocre. This goes for any professional team you support.

I realize that you can find quality players everywhere in a draft for any sport that can make a team better. I'd just rather be safer with a top 5 pick than #9 or #12. What's the difference anyways? Both picks don't make the playoffs for any professional sport so does it really matter? Wouldn't I want the safer, more talented pick? Look at the Penguins, they were dirt and then had the #1 and #2 picks and boom Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Look at the Washington Nationals in baseball. Strasburg and Harper will be dominant for years barring injury.

Let's look at the NHL's past #1 picks. 2012 Nail Yakupov, 2011 Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, 2010 Taylor Hall, 2009 John Taveres, 2008 Steven Stamkos, 2007 Patrick Kane, 2006 Erik Johnson, 2005 Sidney Crosby, 2004 Alex Ovechkin, 2003 Marc-Andre Fleury, 2002 Rick Nash, 2001 Ilya Kovalchuck. Looks safe to me.

Let me know if you disagree but I would have rather had a shot (2008) #1 Jake Long, #2 Chris Long, #3 Matt Ryan, #4 Darren McFadden or #5 Glenn Dorsey than #11 Leodis McKelvin...

Brockport Murder Trial

Was at the Rochester City court today to cover the pre-trial hearings to set the times for more hearings and trial date for the case where the dude from Brockport murdered his girlfriend. This was just a ten minute thing in court to set dates and what not for the rest of the proceedings.

Gathered some stuff from being there though and seeing the kid who alledgedly murdered his girlfriend. What I gathered is there is no alledged. Dude looks like a total plug for the 3 minutes I saw him. Like no doubt in my mind he did it. He has those wide-ass, broad I'm gonna stangle the shit out of you shoulders. Even the guys head screams I'm gonna kill someone. Total block-head. Straight square on his shoulders. The head and shoulders couldn't be a worse look for this guy. Guy even has a murderers name. His name is Clayton Whittlemore. That to me right there just screams I like killing people. Clayton, total murderer name. Sorry if your name is Clayton and you're reading this...and make sure you don't just hang around one person with possible weapons available.

Then there is this guy' defense. He is pleading that he was emotionally unstable to try and lessen the sentence he'll get. Like what the hell does that mean? Emotionally unstable so you horrifically murder your girlfriend. Other people get upset or emotional and they eat chocolate and ice cream or watch a movie. This guy murders his girlfriend? That's not emotionally unstable that's just a murderer. Murderers murder people and usually they are emotionally unstable because they're murderers in the first place because they murder.

This defense for this guy makes as much sense as somebody taking a bath with a toaster. Good luck buddy, nobody is rooting for you.

Parents Cheering for Their Kid

So I saw this while shooting video of a high school girls basketball game. You've all seen it. The hype-active, over-enthusiastic, I only cheer for my own kid parent. That selfish, turd-nugget parent who only cares about their own kid and somehow knows how to coach the team better than the actual coach. Seeing it again made me realize how pathetic these people are and made me realize I needed to write something about it.

First of all it's only a high school game, no need to go crazy and stand up and pound your chest when your kid scores a bucket (I actually witnessed the dad do this). Hey dumb ass, why are you pounding your chest, your kid scored...not you. Figure it out. Then when your kid loses her dribble and loses the ball no its not a foul. There was no ghost who fouled your kid and caused the ball to go out of bounds, she just doesn't have handles. How about instead of standing up like a moron you go all Charles Billingsley from Friday Night Lights and drunkenly duct tape the ball to your kids hands when they get home.

The next worst part is this parent questioning everything the coach of the team does. Listen just sit down and shut up there's a reason that the other person is the coach and not you...and why would you think that you know what defense or play should be ran? Do you coach the kids? Do you know all of their strengths and weaknesses like the coach does? No. So just sit down and shut the hell up. Listen I know all parents want their kid to succeed but does that mean you root for only your kid to do well and not your kids actual team.

Honestly if you have nothing better to do but get enraged over a high school game you live a shallow incomplete life and I hope God has mercy on your soul. Couple that with the fact that you will only root for your own kid and try to live vicariously through him or her and you must have absolutely nothing going for you.

Root for your kid, but don't make your kid hate you.